INNOCENT TEXTS

All this week on the show we're running a brilliant competition in conjunction with Innocent Smoothies (check out the show tomorrow for full details of the fabulous prize). But what we're asking you to do is send us texts telling us about the innocence of children, a particular occasion when a kid you know or maybe something you said or did yourself as a kid that shows the innocence of children - and of course makes us laugh too.

Here are a selection of our favourite texts from this morning's show...

Some time ago my ex's cousin aged 6 said: mam now i think i know where babies come out of but i don't know how they got in there in the first place. Andrea

My daughter, saoirse, declared to her mother and nana that it was raining in the kitchen, after she had got her hands on a garden hose and washed out the cupboards. She is now 25 and a regular listener to your show. Ha ha ha

Thought my son got over mis prouncing words. He called my friends rotweiller a rough rider. Last week he came back from school and was talking about furball and root. It took me 3 days to figure out about kids in his class called fergal and ruth.

My little cousin asked our elderly aunt why she had a mustache while sitting at a big family dinner Darragh

My friends grandson wanted to be the 'Joseph' in the school nativity play, when his mam was comforting him over just being picked as the inn keeper he responded 'i.ll show them'. The nite of the play when 'Joseph' and 'mary' approached asking for any room, he responded 'yeah sure we have loads of room.. Come on in'! Classic

When i was 5 i packed my bags 2 run away from home.didnt get very far thou cos i wasnt allowed cross the road! Sue

My little sister aoife one day came in from the garden to tell us that the bird had spitted at her he had actually pooped on her! Ann marie

Myself and a mate were heading to a stag on Friday for the weekend when his kid(2 1/2) saw us filling a bag with bottles and said have you got enough juice for the weekend daddy!

We were in kerry last summer and my four ear old shauna came out of the bathroom in the restaurant shouting mummy my bum exploded out a fart and it came out so quickly. Sarah coffey

My son shouted from the toilet that he had the hurries instead off the runs

My 8 year old niece asked me why every one was asking us to vote no to lesbians? She was referring to the posters asking us to vote no to Lisbon! Kev

Hi Colm n Jim Jim, my son Daniel who is 22 now was 4 he was trying 2 tell me something, I was getting very impatient and told him 2 spit it out, he looked at me very confused then spat on the floor!  Sue Sullivan  killorglin co kerry

My three year old  abha said to me the other day,  Mammy it was very dark when I was in your tummy, but I wasnt scared, because I knew you were there.

My four year old son charlie after visiting my friend who was heavily pregnant asked me how did they get my head back on after taking him out of my belly!

My daughter karen was 3 when we went to the supermarket.she was standing in the shopping trolley helping me put the things on the checkout.naming the items as she went.tea bags coffee etc.she picked up a pkt of sanitary towels and not knowing what they were called.lookf at them and said things 4 mammys willie!i thought the check out girl was going to choke with laughter .i was a red as fire!

We went 2da zoo n 2turtles started getting down 2business n our niece said 2her mam 'look mammy,they r piggy backing' from dave in dublin

Hey lads. In a crowed public loo my 5 year old so Cian shouted out. Dad your winky is bigger than mine. To witch i replied . I hope so son. Ken dublin 24

My little cousin rachel got a set of rosary beads from our aunt bernie for her communion from rome and told her that they were from the pope. The next day rachel was going into school. Just before she got out of the car she turned to her dad and asked, dad whats the name of the bloke that gave bernie the beads!.

Dont know if you can say this on air,but i was teaching my little sister to wink,and she was just starting to talk at same time,so wen i told her to wink,she turned around in front of the family and said i can WANK. Paudie cork

My niece cayla said 2 her mother in d car 1 day. "mammy, is this real life?" from yvonne diviney.

We told our son that daddy wasnt fat he was pleasantly plump.went on hols & any overweight person eoin wud see he'd shout look they're pleasantly plump.christine martin.

My daughter was helping hang washing on line &wondered why was i hanging elastic bands on the line (g-strings) Antoinette

My six year old son and i were bringing some clothes 2 our local st. Vincent de paul. He asked me if vincent wasnt there could we just drop the clothes anyway. It was open, he walked in and said hello vincent 2 the man in it.

Last week when we wouldnt let our 3 year old liam have his own way he stood hands on hips glared and declared thats it im selling your house on yis

Hey colm and jim jim im a teacher for pre school joe we were learnin fruits i held up a lemon n i said who knows what this is and a little girl in the back yelled ITS A GIN AND TONIC! - aisling gallagher.

My daughter , Acacia, was 3 when  this happened. She had no idea that her p.j's and bed were soaking wet until i pointed it out. I asked her had she wet the bed? She looked at the wet p.j's and thought really hard. Then she said, "no,. . . . . I melted" from nettie omahoney, cork

HOW YOU CAN VOTE ON X FACTOR

Despite all those warnings on the screen that Republic of Ireland viewers can't vote for any X-Factor contestants, that's not strictly true. There's a loophole that allows us to vote. A new British website Free2call.tv routes Irish and UK calls to the official X Factor phone numbers at low charges after listening to a 15 second advert.

Irish viewers who want to vote should dial 00 44 333 66698 followed by the two digit code from the act they want to vote for.

So does that mean John and Edward will stay in because the Irish can vote? Or from what we've seen from you lot on our text system, you're ashamed and embarrassed they're Irish so maybe this loophole could work against the terrible twins instead of for them.

And in case you missed their "classic" performance of Britney's Oops I Did It Again, here's a look at it... scroll to 2.05 and be warned, you might need a tissue...

NEW PODCASTS

We've got a heap of new podcasts for you to check out including our calls with Gitsy and Duggy last week plus an interview with Spandau Ballet's Tony Hadley.

You can find them all plus our back catalogue of stuff by clicking here