TODAY'S INNOCENT TEXTS

All this week on the show, in conjunction with Innocent Drinks, we're giving listeners the chance to win a family holiday to Sweden. We've also got daily prizes of an Innocent Prize Pack and Horrid Henry book up for grabs.

Each day we're asking you to send us stories of childhood innocence, those innocent things kids say or do, completely oblivious to how they're sending us adults into fits of laughter.

We've been getting great stories all week, and so here's a selection of our favourites from today...

Myself and my partner were in the car one day with his then 4 year old son. We passed a neighbour of mine in his brand new jeep. My partner quized me on how can my neighbour afford the new jeep as he is a post man.i said sure he doesnt drink or smoke and dj's at the weekends.we drove on discussing this for a bit when a voice in the back popped up and said inquizitively . But dad does the man not get thirsty?classic!

At the consecration as the priest lifted the chalice, my five year old Aidan shouts into the hush "look Gran, he's got a trophy"! Deirdre

My four year old cousin wanted to know why my pregnant friend was so fat. I didn't want to explain the birds and the bees to him so i said she bit her nails. We were walking down town and there was a pregnant woman on our side of the street so he yelled at her I know what you were doing to get that big belly

I was makin a sandwich 4 my son i was cutting it in half he said mummy will u cut it into four pieces as i'm really starving . Debbie wicklow town.

Hi lads .when my niece was younger she defended her uncle William by correcting another child in her class when they spoke about their willie she said its not ur willie its ur William. Jacqui

When my daughter was learnin to read, she announced, durin a dinner party, that she knew what custard was made from....BIRDS!!

I was in superquinn with my 4 year old and my baby ginger twins.  An ole one came up and said "what lovely red hair on those twins". And my 4 year old said " my mommy says they will have red pubes as well ".  Earlier in the day my husband and I were havin a laugh saying they have red eye lashes and that they will have red pubes as well.  That will teach us.  You had to see the look of shock and horror on ol' ones faace.  What could I say but " oh where did he get that from" and walk away

When my daughter was small we would call to a cafe, one day it was empty as we were early,looking round she said, look at all the people not here.Neil in Cork

When my son david was 9 he heard the word prostitute and asked me what it meant. I told him it was a wild cat found in america. His teacher rang me a few days later and said they were doing a nature class and david asked her had she ever seen a prostitute and that there were loads of prostitutes in america!

My brother when he was asked by our neighbor (he was 7 ) what do you want to be when you grow up ? He promptly replied I don't know, but I am going to be a skeleton when I die. Cheers Ailish

 My daughter  cliodhna when she was six made friends a new  with a little polish girl who had just moved in to our estate.  She told me she didnt speak much english.  After a few days of playing with her my daughter told me she was starting to speak a bit of polish.  When i asked her what she had learned she said  very slowly - you.... Want... Go... Out...? Kate

A couple of years ago, my friends little girl who was 3 at the time asked what time we were going to Kilatoilet at? We were in fact getting ready to go to visit friends in Kilaloe! But logical in her mind!!

We were at a hurling county final last year, my friend was there with her 3 year old daughter, there was a minutes silence and she asked what it was for so we explained a man who plays his mam died at the week end. So the minute passed and everyone cheered and she pipes up to say ah good she's alive again..

When i Was 4 years of age i was on the bus with mam and a homeless man got on and i said to my mother mam look its worzel gummage and started 2 yell howaya worzel

My four year old niece's idea of how tissues are made: i think they take a piece of cloud, squash it, put it in the microwave and then fold it up! Ha ha!

 I brought my 3 yr old nephew 2 mass one day and as he normally doesnt go,i explained thd we had 2 sit down,b quiet and listen 2 the man who would be talking at the table, the priest comes out,in a red robe,and it was all quiet,and charlie shouts out excitedly,....ITS SANTA! mortified is the word!

Had 2 change a bra and while we wer standing at customer serv desk waiting 4 an assistant  my 3 year old son shouted out 'excuse me lady we would like 2 pay 4 my mums new boobies'  .-....Carol - kk

A couple of years ago we had dinner in a friend's house. After dinner my 6yr old went 2 the bathroom. When he came back 2 the table he said,'MUM,that chicken curry is after going through me like the LUAS!'. . . .

My little brother when he was 5 was looking for shampoo in the bathroom press but instead found sanitary towels and asked what they were i said big plasters, much to my mums mortification one day we had visitors he came in with a sanitary towel stuck to his little leg claiming he fell and cut his leg but he was ok he put on his own plaster. Pamela wicklow

i Ask me sister a maths qs because she was learnin 2 add i said wat do u get wen u add 1apple,1orange and 1 banana and from d back of the car she said a  smoothy.

one evening we wer at mass and a person in front of us farted and my younger brother poked the man and said out load u shouldn't fart in peoples faces it's not nice..

my little girl started school and i asked her what did u do 2day ,she said , teacher gave us a drink , oh what did she give u i said , well it looked like milk and taste like milk but teacher called it bainne.

My son was almost three when leaving the doctors at 10 am in the morning the doc told him he was a great boy and offered him a lolly pop he then said would your mummy like one? My little boy replied oh no thank you my mummy only likes wine

Sitting on the couch one day my 4 year old amy came in daddy i washed your car as she had no sponge or water i asked what did she wash it with and she replied stones

 I was trying to tell my 6y old son that it important that he go to school so he can get a good job and have money but he told me he did not need school as he was going to get his money playing golf or football . Clive

My daughter karen was driving home with her little sister niamh.they passed a factory with a large chimney.billowing white smoke.niamh said karen can wego to the place that makes the clouds?so sweet

When my boyfriend was 5 he ran crying in2 the kitchen 2 his mam.When she askd him what was wrong-he pulled up his sleeve 2 reveal two freckely arms-and replied 'im going rusty'!

 My son and i were walking on the beach one day when we came across a dead seagull.. He asked me why the bird was lying on the beach.. I thought very quickly and said, 'he died and now he's gone to heaven' .. My son looked at me and in the usual cocky way that children answer said ' i know he went to heaven but i was actually wondering what happened, did he not make it all the way or did god throw him back down'  !

My daughter is now 11 but when she started primary school, they were allowed to pray for an intention every day. U would have the usual for a sick grandparent etc. My daughter offered hers up for her dad. I had an argument with him, nothing major but as i left the room i said i wish he would fall off a cliff. Her intention the following day was that her dad would not fall off a cliff. I found this out at a parent teacher meeting when her teacher said that she worries alot about her dad. The teacher wanted to know does he do rock or mountain climbing. I left that meeting very red faced.

My uncle died when my son was 3, craig wanted 2 no where george wud go now we told him george was up in d clouds minding him. Few months later we were in a plane + craig was staring out d window, when he said i can't find uncle george in d clouds, d look on his face was so serious

U2 CONCERT ON YOUTUBE

U2 are appearing shortly at a venue very near you... your computer!!!! The band are about to make internet history by broadcasting an entire gig on YouTube.

It's happening this coming Sunday and the gig takes place at the Pasadena Rose Bowl in California.

However, the one drawback is that it starts at 8.30pm LA time which is 3.30am here.

Go to http://www.youtube.com/U2  to view it

KENNY EVERETT ON THE LATE LATE

Today on the show Jim was talking about a classic clip on YouTube of Kenny Everett when he was on The Late Late Show some years ago and he had a bit of a run in with Sinead O'Connor. Check it out below.